Väterlicher Humor hat nicht die beste Reputation, aber ein Superheld, hat diese Disziplin gemeistert. Ryan Reynolds haut auf Twitter einen Spruch nach dem anderen raus. Dabei ist er genauso witzig und schamlos wie «Deadpool». Nicht weiter erstaunlich, denn «Deadpool» und Ryan Reynolds wurden von der selben Person gespielt.
Being a father means responsibility. Not just for your main family, but also the secret one in Denmark nobody knows about.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 19. Juni 2016
Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 19. August 2016
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 22. Juli 2016
This morning, my daughter said, "quiche" which means she's smart, hungry and an asshole.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 21. August 2016
It's important kids eat 5 servings of vegetables daily. Even if childhood is just a dress-rehearsal for extraordinary adult suffering.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 29. August 2016
After this morning's diaper, my daughter finally earned the teardrop tattoo on her face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 14. Juni 2016
Love writing nursery rhymes for my daughter. Her favorites are, "Sunshine-Cuddle-Time!" and "Everyone You Know Will Eventually Die."
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 11. November 2015
What's better than a 12 hour drive with a screaming 1 year old? Not including hepatitis.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 2. Juni 2016
My daughter love the @MileyCyrus song, "We Can't Stop" because she thinks it's about cutting the brake lines on my car.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 17. August 2016
No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 7. August 2016
Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 7. September 2016
My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 16. April 2016
On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 16. Oktober 2016
Inside my daughter's diaper this morning, I found a half-digested wolf. Try me. https://t.co/6wuZLsl7Nu
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 3. September 2016
The mobile above my daughter's crib is just a whole bunch of NuvaRings. So she remembers how lucky she is.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 20. Oktober 2016
Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 30. Januar 2017
Proud of my baby daughter placing last in her old-timey, bare-knuckle street fighting class. Congrats to her 31 year old opponent, Rick.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 7. Juni 2016
Tip: It's important parents take little "time outs" for themselves too. Even if you feel pretty guilty when you return 14 years later.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) 3. Mai 2016
(luc)